Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The Hiding Place




In the film Shadowlands, C.S. Lewis is speaking with one of his students who says, "We read to know we are not alone." When we read we often discover that someone else has been where we are. Someone else understands. We read because so often, we ourselves do not have the words to say what is written in our hearts. I think the same can be said for movies, art, dance, music, and theater. It is Thanksgiving time and this year I am grateful for artists, directors, actors, composers, musicians, dancers, and authors who give voice to the feelings I cannot express and paint the picture I cannot paint.

Brent recently suggested I read, The Hiding Place, by Corrie ten Boom. Here are a few (okay, I got a little carried away... here are 19) phrases I love:

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

“Trying to do the Lord's work in your own strength is the most confusing, exhausting, and tedious of all work. But when you are filled with the Holy Spirit, then the ministry of Jesus just flows out of you.”

“Happiness isn't something that depends on our surroundings...It's something we make inside ourselves.”

“You can never learn that Christ is all you need, until Christ is all you have.”

“Do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill that love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.”

“Don't bother to give God instructions; just report for duty.”

“Dear Jesus...how foolish of me to have called for human help when You are here.”

“There is no panic in Heaven! God has no problems, only plans.”

“There are no 'if's' in God's world. And no placess that are safer than other places. The center of His will is our only safety - let us pray that we may always know it!”

“Whenever we cannot love in the old, human way . . . God can give us the perfect way.”

“If God has shown us bad times ahead, it's enough for me that He knows about them. That's why He sometimes shows us things, you know - to tell us that this too is in His hands.”

“God's viewpoint is sometimes different from ours - so different that we could not even guess at it unless He had given us a Book which tells us such things....In the Bible I learn that God values us not for our strength or our brains but simply because He has made us.”

“And our wise Father in heaven knows when we're going to need things too. Don't run out ahead of Him.”

“Today I know that such memories are the key not to the past, but to the future. I know that the experiences of our lives, when we let God use them, become the mysterious and perfect preparation for the work He will give us to do. ”

“How often it is a small, almost unconscious event that makes a turning point.”

“Perhaps only when human effort had done it's best and failed, would God's power alone be free to work.”

“When I try, I fail.
When I trust, He succeeds.”

“All through the short afternoon they kept coming, the people who counted themselves Father's friends. Young and old, poor and rich, scholarly gentlemen and illiterate servant girls—only to Father did it seem that they were all alike. That was Father's secret: not that he overlooked the differences in people; that he didn't know they were there.”

“There are no 'ifs' in God's Kingdom. His timing is perfect. His will is our hiding place. Lord Jesus, keep me in Your will! Don't let me go mad by poking about outside it.”

Friday, November 4, 2011

The Beauty that is Change


To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.-Henri Bergson

The first time I saw Olyessa she was standing nervously in the Nicholiev branch building foyer. With eyes glued to the floor I could make out dark circles beneath her eyes. Her clothing was simple and by worldly standards there was nothing particularly beautiful about her. The Elders introduced us and we attempted conversation. It must have been intimidating for her to be standing, conversing with a bunch of American missionaries. Her answers were short and timid. I wasn't sure what to think of her. She seemed innocent to be sure, childlike almost, but something about her countenance was dim, sad.

We began to teach her the basic principals of the gospel. I'm not sure how much she understood. Though she was in her mid twenties, teaching her felt more like teaching a 10-year-old. Maybe even an 8-year-old. The branch president expressed some concern that working with her might be a waste of our precious time. I confess, I wondered the same thing. Was there any point in teaching her if she wasn't going to understand? Even if she did get baptized, she would never be the kind of member who would bring others into the church. We came very close to calling it quits. We rationalized that she was so innocent, she probably didn't need baptism.

I will forever be grateful that we didn't give up on her.

As we continued to meet, I learned more of her life. Her mother had died when she was young and she lived in a tiny apartment with her father. A simple life. She worked at a cookie factory and would always bring us batches of reject cookies. She was sweet and kind. Without guile. Also very trusting. One day on her way to meet with us some gypsies had hypnotized her and stolen some money. She looked sheepish and we felt bad, but had to laugh a little. That was just so Olyessa! The more I knew her, the more I loved her. And she was beginning to change.

On the day of her baptism I wished I could have seen the old Olyessa standing next to the new Olyessa. What a contrast that would have been! Her countenance was completely changed. No longer a sad, dark-eyed little girl. She smiled, light was beaming from her eyes. Dressed in white, she was completely pure and completely beautiful.

Though I still don't know if she really needed to be baptized, I do know that my companion and I needed her. We needed see that change to know that it is possible. It's sad to think that we almost gave up on her. I'm so eternally grateful that God hasn't given up on me. Olyessa became beautiful to me, not because of who she was or is now but because I had the honor to see what she had overcome. Through the power of the atonement she changed and change is beautiful! I want to learn to see those around me, not as who they are, but as who they will become.